My Brain Needs YOU!
Why Community is Critical for Brain Health
Having a birthday in less than two weeks has put me in a reflective mood.
Although I don’t feel over the hill, there’s no doubt that (ahem) I am enjoying the scenic route on the way down!
…unless I live to be 128 years old, that is.
A lot about me hasn’t changed in the last sixty-plus years. I still love to:
Laugh
Workout
Eat great food
Travel
Buy shoes
Help people
Learn
Spend time with my family
However, there are also a lot of things about me that have changed. I no longer:
Try to prove myself (I’m loved and accepted as I am)
Compare myself to others (You do you; I’m showing up as myself)
Put limits on myself (What do I have to lose by trying?)
Let trauma dictate my choices (No, No, No)
Eat anything that doesn’t taste good (No. Just No.)
Another interesting change in me is my newly found fascination with brain health.
Yes, brain health.
My interest is partly personal—my father-in-law had dementia, Jeff has a friend recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and I am not nearly as sharp as I once was at remembering names. (I wondered if this might be a sign that I’m on the road to having dementia.)
My interest is also partly professional. I need to complete a certain number of continuing education credits for my professional accreditation, and studying Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age by neurosurgeon Sanjay Gupta fits the bill.
Goodness me, I am learning a lot.
Diet and Exercise Matter
Some of what I’ve learned about brain health isn’t surprising: Diet matters, and exercise is critical.
“Exercise is the only behavioral activity scientifically proven to trigger biological effects that can help the brain. (150 minutes per week.) Indeed, physical inactivity has been calculated to be the most significant risk factor in cognitve decline and the development of of demenita.”
If you are among the eighty percent of Americans who don’t get enough regular exercise, this is your encouragement to get moving. Your brain health depends on it.
Connection for Protection
Perhaps one of the more surprising things I learned from Dr. Gupta is that socializing is critical for brain health.
“People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.”
“Loneliness in particular has been shown to accelerate cognitive decline in older adults.”
“Having a diverse social network can improve our brain’s plasticity and preserve our cognitive abilites.”
“Those with larger social networks were better protected against the cognitive declines related to Alzheimer's disease than the people with a smaller group of friends.”
The bottom line is that we need connection to protect our brains.
Divine Design
Isn’t it remarkable that God designed us to need community—family, friends, the church—to keep our brains healthy? We also need others to help shape our character, provide support, and grow spiritually.
Indeed, Scripture validates the importance of staying connected.
Hebrews 10:24-25: And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Proverbs 18:24 – One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Galatians 6:2 – Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 – Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Cor 12:14; 25-27 - Even so, the body is not made up of one part but of many. …so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Beyond the Brain: Knowing Who We Are
Being part of a community is like looking into a multifaceted mirror—you see yourself from different angles, helping you come to a greater understanding of who you are.
Just as we need a mirror to see our faces, we need other people to reflect back to us what they see.
This is another reason why community is so important.
Many of us show up in life covered in layers of past trauma, misdirected ambition, or forgotten dreams. We need others and God to usher us back to our true selves.
Some of the ways that being connected does that are through:
Feedback & Reflection – A community offers perspectives on your strengths, weaknesses, and impact on others. Honest feedback helps you recognize traits or behaviors that may not be apparent in isolation.
This is best accomplished when your community operates in partnership with God. A simple prayer—" God, how do you see this person?”—can help you cut through your lenses and biases to tap into God’s perspective about another person.
Prophetic insight - An accurate prophetic word can bring clarity and insight quicker than trial and error and taking self-reflection inventories. For example, I received at least four prophetic words that I would write a book. When I expressed my doubts to a friend, she immediately replied that this newsletter was a book waiting to be bound. I couldn’t see myself as a writer until someone gave me a prophetic word, and others confirmed it.
Role Exploration – Within a community, you naturally take on different roles (leader, supporter, mediator, etc.), allowing you to see which resonate with your authentic self. Scripture is clear that we are created with different gifts and abilities and should operate in them (see 1 Corinthians 12:12-27).
And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary; and those members of the body which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and our less presentable members become much more presentable…
Shared Values & Challenges—Engaging with a community helps you clarify what you truly believe by exposing you to different viewpoints. You may reinforce your values or realize they need adjustment. Just today, I was talking to a half-black, half-Dominican Christian friend about the importance of expressing emotions. Although she agreed, she shared that expressing pain in the black community is sometimes viewed as a sign of weakness. I was so grateful to “see” something I would not have known unless she was willing to share this perspective.
Accountability & Growth – Others hold you accountable, challenging you to be consistent with your words and actions. This keeps you aligned with your evolving self-awareness. It’s especially important to have a community that encourages you to step into all God has created you to be rather than one that shames you for missing the mark or backsliding into sin.
Belonging – Community can provide a sense of belonging, even when you have little in common with others in that group. Jeff and I have had the privilege of being part of faith and fitness communities in different parts of the world where we had little in common regarding race, education, or socioeconomic status. We have never felt out of place because we showed up wanting to belong. Being part of mixed communities has been one of the biggest blessings of our lives.
Next Steps
Life is busy, and many of us have slipped into a habit of virtual connection on social media rather than immersing ourselves in living, breathing communities. Many no longer experience community in their neighborhoods, which used to be a hub of connection for families. (Does anyone else remember a time when you knew all your neighbors? That was how I grew up.) Of course, lots of us now work from home, which leads to even more isolation than before.
Faith communities have also been in decline. Church attendance has significantly fallen off since the turn of the 21st century. Only 20% of Americans attend church every week.
For all the reasons I’ve already outlined, we must take steps to reverse the trend. We were designed to be in a community; it’s no wonder many of us are losing our minds.
Getting into a community—whether faith-based, creative, professional, or social—can feel daunting, but it’s often just a few intentional steps away.
1. Reflect on What You're Looking For
Ask yourself: What kind of community do I need? Are you seeking emotional support, spiritual growth, shared interests, or accountability? If you are a person of faith, church is a great place to start, but I have built great communities in my neighborhood and fitness classes as well. Pick a place and get started.
Knowing your “why” helps you find the right fit.
2. Start Small and Show Up
Look for small groups, meetups, or events where connection happens more easily.
Consistency is key. Relationships grow when people see you regularly. I belonged to an indoor cycling community that worked out together weekly. Those people became like family to me.
3. Say Yes to Invitations
Even if you're unsure or nervous, accept invites when possible.
Community often begins with one brave "yes" to something new.
4. Be Open and Curious
Ask questions. Show genuine interest in others.
You don’t have to overshare, but vulnerability (in time) helps deepen connection.
Commit to lingering after a church service to have a cup of coffee with someone new or ask questions of the person you see weekly at your kid’s gymnastics class.
5. Volunteer or Get Involved
Serve in some way—help set up, join a team, contribute your gifts. Remember, you have a unique role to play in the body of the people you belong to. No one does you like you.
Participation builds belonging and purpose within a group.
6. Initiate Connection
Don’t wait for others to make the first move. Knock on your neighbor’s door or intentionally engage the person sitting next to you at church.
Invite someone for coffee, join group chats, or start conversations.
7. Be Patient and Keep Going
Building community takes time and persistence. If you feel like giving up, ask God to help you. It’s helpful to ask Him to point out who you should speak to at church; He will help you connect.
Not every group will be the right fit, and that’s okay. Keep showing up where it feels most authentic.
8. Practice Grace and Commitment
People aren’t perfect—community can be messy, but that’s part of the beauty. It’s also good for our brains to be challenged beyond the status quo.
Give it time, show grace, and keep investing.
Just like we are designed to move our bodies, we are also designed for connection.
Both are critical for helping our brains function into old age. Joining a community isn’t just about finding people—it’s about being part of what God is doing together. If you show up with an open heart, you're already halfway there.
What challenges do you face when it comes to building community?
What changes are you prepared to make? 👇🏻
Dear Reader,
I’ll be hosting a live interview with Mac, the Porn-Free Millennial, on Monday, April 7th at 7 pm EST. It will air on the Substack App. You don’t want to miss out on this. Mac will share his journey of healing and restoration from a porn addiction.
This was such an awesome read Jeanie! Just love following your journey and I love how you apply faith to community so seamlessly!!! Really helps me shift my perspective especially as a believer to continue to walk by faith as we continue to grow our communities!❤️❤️🙏